Thurs...

Thurs. night i went to the bang on a can all-stars with philip glass. i felt a bit decieved because there were absolutely no cans involved. about an hour before i went, i ate half a pot cookie ... because the last time i ate a whole one i was GONE .. i mean, vegetable gone. all i could do was drool on myself :P. but i guess i again underestimated the power of the cookie, because even with only half i was wasted by the time i walked into the gigantic castle of an auditorium. it really is like a castle, heres a pic: (i apologize for not knowing how to do the cut tag thingie)

i wandered around the mazes of hallways and masses of people for what seemed like hours. eventually i found my seat, which had this view:

however, the seats were TINY, it was like they tried to cram as many possible seats into this gigantic room, and in order to fit i had to sit with my legs spread (no perverted comments!), and even then the chair in front of me dug painfully into my knees. To make matters worse, on one side of me was a very old woman, who was friendly but seemed annoyed that one of my legs had to take up almost all of her leg room as well as mine. on the other side was a family, the father sitting next to me and was a complete asshole. to add to the problem .. i was really out of place, everyone else there were the aristocats of boulder county, rich people and families trying to culturally enrich their gifted children. being packed into a painful seat with so many people hovering over each other while being stoned out of my mind was not good for my social anxiety one bit. For a little while i tried to force myself to stay there, to put up with the awfulness in order to grow within myself, perhaps conquer my anxiety. But, eventually (in other words, 15 minutes :P) i said screw it, i want to be able to enjoy this. so i climbed up another twofloors to the back row, which was empty. it was still a tight fit, but at least i could stick my legs over the seat in front of me. and at least i could be relatively alone. i spent some time just soaking in the beauty of the architecture, the play of light and shadow was incredible. when the music started, i just closed my eyes and thought. i dont remember what i thought about, but i remember wishing i had a pen to write down all the thoughts down. philip glass makes for excellent thinking music. some of the songs were so intensely emotional and erratic, and i let myself ride on the rollercoaster of emotion. one song in particular, the pianist did a whole lot of "banging" ... it reminded me of the song i wrote called "the storm" on the piano when i was about 7 ... smashing all the keys down like crazy ... of course it was terrible. but this had some sense to it ... like co-ordinated 5 year old mozartswhapping at their instruments in a temper tantrum. i really got into it, and was just about to burst through the ice of torment - but then it ended.
i found the formalness of the whole thing quite amusing. after every song, the performers all stopped and took several dramatic bows, and the clapping went on for 10 minutes. for every song!
I suppose i should stop here before i ruin everybodys night with my horridly long posts, which im sure are boring as hell to everyone but me. Before i peace out tho, i just gotta recommend the movie "The Motorcycle Diaries." It may or may not be playing wherever you are. I suggest checking tho. Its the story of the early years of Ernesto Che Guevara, and his adventures on an 8000 mile roadtrip on a motorcycle through latin america, and sets the stage and gives the inspiration for his revolutionary years to come. Of course, if it isnt around you can always read the book